


That's Why You Matter

by LIKEABOSS1234



Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [7]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Drunk confessions, Hurt, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Tumblr: zalexweek2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LIKEABOSS1234/pseuds/LIKEABOSS1234
Summary: Charlie and Alex broke up and Alex seeks out his best friend for help, but gets a little more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Series: Zalex Week 2k20 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818361
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	That's Why You Matter

Zach sat on the edge of their rooftop. He could see the dark clouds approaching, it was definitely going to rain. It didn’t matter, though, Zach was too drunk to care at this point. The darkness reminded him of Alex and he would admit that made him happy. Alex was like a storm. Dark, gloomy, but beautiful. Zach had always found it incredible. He guessed that’s why he was drawn to the younger boy when he’d first moved to Evergreen. Or maybe, it was his beautiful blue eyes, or his blond that stood out because he wore dark clothes or his sass that could make Bryce and Monty shut up. Zach didn’t know, but he was sure glad he did talk to the boy.

Speaking of that boy, that boy had sent him about 15 texts. It hurt to see Alex with Charlie and so, Zach had just stopped talking to all of his friends, but mostly Alex and Charlie. Zach had become like that recently. Ignoring his problems instead of facing them. He gets another text.

_ Where are you Zach _

Alex never texted full words unless it was important. Zach decides it’s for the best he sends a reply. So, he does. He sends one word.

** Rooftop **

He sends that and lays down on the ledge. He closes his eyes and memories of his and Alex’s friendship. ‘Damn, it hurts to call it a friendship.’

One particular memory stands out and Zach can’t pinpoint why. The memory of Alex falling into the pool at Bryce’s. He and Alex had sat outside, talking for like 2 hours. He wanted to be sure Alex was okay, then, since it was so close to Hannah and he couldn’t lose someone else the way he’d lost her. It seemed like he was and then, just a few days later, Alex tried to kill himself. Zach will never forgive himself for just believing Alex was okay after he tried to drown himself in Bryce’s pool. Looking back now, it reminds him of the time on the boat in Burnham Woods. Alex had been feeling broken after Winston, just like he was hurting and broken because of Hannah. Not that he thought Alex could break, at least not anymore. Alex is way too strong to just break, unlike Zach, who is laying on a rooftop, feeling sorry for himself, drinking himself into oblivion and pining over his best friend. His best friend he told he didn’t like guys on this very rooftop. His best friend who has a boyfriend. His best friend who had gotten over Zach.

Zach, on the other hand, was just starting realize his feelings for the other. He thinks they’ve been there for a while, but he didn’t think anything of them because that would mess up the idea of the perfect life he and his family had planned. But now, his mom wouldn’t even look at him and May is just so disappointed in him. May, an eighth grader, was disappointed by him and he could completely understand why. He was hurting everyone around him. 

He thinks that he started to realize his feelings, truly, after his talk with Winston. The kiss confused him, but that talk about how he loved Alex made him realize that it wasn’t in a platonic way. Then when they were together in the office, he just couldn’t stand the idea of bringing Alex down with him for something that was his idea. So, he told him to go find Charlie and pushed him away. He really needed to stop doing that to the people he loved. And then, Charlie and Alex got together and he realized he would have to live with all of these thoughts, just like he presumed Alex did before kissing him, because Alex was just so happy. It would hurt him even more to know that not only was he holding Alex back, but Alex would be so unhappy. Suddenly, he hears the door to the rooftop open.

“What the fuck, Zach,” Alex wasn’t asking, it was more of just a statement. His voice was thick with some emotion.

“Hey man,” Zach says, calmly.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Alex says.

“What do you mean?” Zach asks, confused. He turns to face Alex.

“Have you even- You know what, never fucking mind. Zach, what is wrong with you?” Alex says and Zach finally sees the emotion he heard. Sadness. No, not sadness, despair. He looked like all hope and meaning was drained from his life.

“Wait Al, what’s wrong?” Zach knows his words were slurring together.

“I asked you first,” Alex asks, sadly. 

“Shit’s just so fucked,” Zach says.

“Well, duh, what else is new? What’s going on with you right now?” Alex asks.

“I’m letting everybody down. I can’t do this anymore,” Zach says, close to tears.

“Oh Zach, I’m sorry,” Alex says. Zach finally stands up. Alex immediately hugs him. Tears pour out of Zach’s eyes, falling onto Alex’s sweater.

He was so vulnerable right now he felt like he had to tell Alex how he felt. He didn’t care if it messed their friendship. Maybe it was all of the emotions, maybe it was the vodka. Zach didn’t know, but he was going to do this. He had to do this.

“Alex, I need to tell you something,” Huh, that liquid courage actually did give him courage, usually it makes him more of a coward.

“Zach, what is it?” Alex says, gently. The two boys feel rain drop on their foreheads. Alex places his hand on Zach’s forearm.

“I’m in love with you,” Beat, “And I know you’re with Charlie and happy, but I just couldn’t take it any longer. I had to tell you before I drove myself crazy.”

“You really didn’t read the messages, did you?” Alex asks.

“No, why? Just read them Zach, I’ll wait,” Alex says, sitting on the ledge. Zach sits next to him. He reads his notifications off his home screen.

_ Hey _

_ Hi _

_ Zach _

_ Dude, this isn’t cool _

_ I need 2 talk _

**_ Missed Call from Alex _ **

**_ Missed Call from Alex _ **

_ Dude Charlie broke up with me _

_ I really need to talk _

_ Fine, you asshole _

_ Why am I friends with u _

**_ Missed Call from Alex _ **

**_ Missed Call from Alex _ **

_ Where r u _

_ Seriously _

_ Where are you Zach _

“Oh Alex, I’m sorry. I’m so selfish-”

“No, Zach. Please stop it. There’s enough self-pity from me to count for the both of us,” Alex jokes. The boys laugh.

“I’m serious about being in love with you, though. I would’ve just held you back. Hurt you had a told you and I didn’t want to do that. You don’t deserve that,” Zach says, tears once again welling up in his eyes.

“Zach...” Alex starts.

“No, you don’t have to say anything at all,” Zach says.

“You’re right I don’t,” Alex says, kissing Zach so gently it feels like a feather blew over his lips. Zach craves more and kisses back, passionately and contentedly. He feels Alex relax against him. At some point, Zach hand ended up in Alex’s hair. He didn’t pull it or hurt Alex in anyway. He just twirled Alex’s curls in between his fingers gently. Alex pulls away and rests his head against Zach’s shoulder. Zach feels tears seep into his sweater.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What’s going on? Are you okay with this?” Zach asks.

“Of course, I’m okay with this, but I just need to make sure this is real. That you’re not a dream, or just playing a prank,” Alex says, self-consciously messing with the fabric of his sweater. Zach grabs his hands away from the fabric and holds both of his hands. Alex looks up at him through long, wet eyelashes.

“I would never do anything like that, I swear," Zach says.

“Yeah, but how can I trust you when on this very rooftop you told me you didn’t like guys?” Alex asks.

“I’d been brought up thinking homosexuality was okay, but if I was gay or bi or anything that it would be the worst thing in the world and I just believed that so when you kissed me, I panicked and said that and I’m sorry that I hurt you,” Zach says, “And to prove it.”

Zach takes out his flask and dumps the rest of the alcohol out. If  Alex was going to trust him and they might be able to make this work, he’d give up all the alcohol in the world.

“No more drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex and no more destructive behavior,” Zach says, “I swear on your life.”

“Why on mine?” Alex asks.

“Because you are the one that matters,” Zach says. He’d meant for it to sound sweet, but it just came out self- deprecating .

“Zach, you matter. You matter to me, but if that’s not enough, you matter to May, the team, our friends. My parents love you and think and care about you like you’re their kid. You matter to so many people,” Alex says, trying to convince him. 

“It’s not a thing of if I matter. It’s more of why do I, of all people, matter,” Zach explains.

“Because you’re talented, sweet, smart, helpful, good-looking because that’s something our fucked-up world cares about, you care to your core about people, you’re just amazing,” Alex explains, “That’s why you matter, at least to me.”

“I’m not good-looking,” Zach says. Alex looks absolutely affronted by this statement.

“Look, I know you own a mirror so do you want to look in it again because you’re really attractive. Girls at Liberty would kill to have you even think of them,” Alex says. 

“Well, I wouldn’t be thinking of them, I’d be thinking of you,” Zach smiles.

Alex smiles back. That was something Zach did to him, made him smile no matter what and Alex loved that.

“Lucky me,” Alex says, capturing Zach’s lips in a kiss, “We’re talking about all of this self-deprecating later, I hope you know.”

“Same could be said for you,” Zach says. It begins to pour around them. Zach smiles. He’d always wanted that cliché kiss in the rain.

“If you’re about to kiss me, hurry because I'd rather not catch hypothermia,” Alex says. Zach laughs. He knew Alex hated clichés, but Alex also knew Zach was a sucker for them. So, he kisses him in the freezing rain.

“Okay, seriously, I’m cold. Take me home,” Alex says.

“Didn’t you drive here?” Zach asks.

“We’ll get my car tomorrow,” Alex says.

And with that, the two boys went to the  Standall’s house and went into Alex’s room. This was a normal occurrence, but it felt so different now.

“So, what do you want to do?” Zach asks.

“Make you watch The Breakfast Club, you uncultured swine,” Alex had been very offended when Zach had told him he’d never seen The Breakfast Club before. Alex puts the movie on his TV and cuddles up to Zach. 

This was a good night.

**Author's Note:**

> ZALEX RAIN KISS!!!!!!!


End file.
